In Joshua chapter 22:11-33 the other tribes of Israel confronted the tribes of Ruben, Gad and half the tribe of Manasseh for building another altar. Although their concern was legitimate and could've had very serious consequences, their manner of confrontation was kind of unwise and a faultfinding approach. Luckily these 2 1/2 tribes did not react in offense. They simply explained why it had been done and because their response was soft, it avoided a civil war between them.
We have to remember that Proverbs 18:21 says "DEATH and LIFE are in the power of the TONGUE: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" meaning our words are powerful enough create certain outcomes. The whole 3rd chapter of James talks about the uncontrollable nature of the tongue. It is referred to as "a great fire; a world of iniquity that can defile the whole body" and "a little member that boasts great things". We should always consider our words AND responses. They either bless or curse; build or destroy. They're either wise or foolish; they will fan flames or put them out, and it's up to us which one we will choose.
James 3:17 says "but the wisdom that is from above is first PURE, then PEACEABLE, GENTLE, and EASY to be INTREATED, FULL of MERCY and GOOD FRUIT, without PARTIALITY and without HYPOCRISY." As Christians, we have the ability to use wisdom and control our words. I would encourage you to look these words up in your own time to get it more detailed understanding of what they each mean.
As Robert Leighton is quoted saying "A HOLY LIFE IS A VOICE: it speaks when the tongue is silent, and is either a constant attraction or a perpetual reproof."
PRAYER: Father, be the "bit" & "helm" in our mouths according to James 3:4-5. Remind us that our words have the ability to tear down relationships with people that may have taken years to build. In Jesus name --Amen!