I had the privilege of ministering to some young ladies at an event earlier this year on the subject of Love coming from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and what it REALLY is, and looks like when applied in each season, whether they were single, courting/engaged, or married. It was an awesome time! Despite my lack of qualification or expertise, The Lord really moved upon those ladies hearts and many were able to take away what they needed from the things God had me to share, so I thought it would be nice to finally post some of the message and prayerfully you will find things to take away from it as well.
What does L.I.V.E. mean? I actually heard this acronym from a local Ohio Christian artist named Jonathan Baker. It is the name of his album and he explained that it stands for Loving Intentionally Versus Emotionally. Love is really a unique thing and a unique subject because when you research the word, you will find that there are 4 different kinds of love expressed:
PHILEO: [Fa-lay-o] This is brotherly love, meaning to be fond of someone. This would be the type of love between good friends like David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18. It could never be used to describe our love towards God.
STORGE: [Stor-gah] This is best understood as the love of a parent towards their child or children, and vice versa.
EROS: [err-os] This is intimate love, mostly of the sexual passion but it can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage.
AGAPE: [uh-gah-pey] This is the divine love that is exercised in I Corinthians 13 and will be our focus. It is the unconditional, unselfish love of God towards his son Jesus & towards us. It is a love that is continued, whether the love given is returned or not. This is intentional love. You’ve probably noticed by now that the King James Version uses the word “charity” which is the Greek word “agape” meaning spontaneous, divine, affectionate, passionate, supreme and perfect love. Agape Love is the highest characteristic of God. His love is more than just kindness or benevolence, it motivates all that he has done and is doing. It’s a love known only from the actions it prompts. Romans 5:5 says “We know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” meaning we have been enabled to L.I.V.E. or Love Intentionally Versus Emotionally, but let’s be honest: We don’t always see eye-to-eye with this kind of love; Because of our sin nature, this kind of love doesn’t always run smoothly with our natural behavior or feelings.
PHILEO: [Fa-lay-o] This is brotherly love, meaning to be fond of someone. This would be the type of love between good friends like David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18. It could never be used to describe our love towards God.
STORGE: [Stor-gah] This is best understood as the love of a parent towards their child or children, and vice versa.
EROS: [err-os] This is intimate love, mostly of the sexual passion but it can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage.
AGAPE: [uh-gah-pey] This is the divine love that is exercised in I Corinthians 13 and will be our focus. It is the unconditional, unselfish love of God towards his son Jesus & towards us. It is a love that is continued, whether the love given is returned or not. This is intentional love. You’ve probably noticed by now that the King James Version uses the word “charity” which is the Greek word “agape” meaning spontaneous, divine, affectionate, passionate, supreme and perfect love. Agape Love is the highest characteristic of God. His love is more than just kindness or benevolence, it motivates all that he has done and is doing. It’s a love known only from the actions it prompts. Romans 5:5 says “We know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” meaning we have been enabled to L.I.V.E. or Love Intentionally Versus Emotionally, but let’s be honest: We don’t always see eye-to-eye with this kind of love; Because of our sin nature, this kind of love doesn’t always run smoothly with our natural behavior or feelings.
No matter what season you are in: 1 Corinthians chapter 13 helps us function like the cross. The picture above is an accurate representation because just like the shape of the cross, love it is not only the up/down relationship between us and God, but it is the left/right relationship displayed towards one another so it’s our model-AMEN? If you all could follow me in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 I would like to take us line upon line to see the application of agape love within our various relationship seasons.
** Verse 4 says AGAPE love is patient- This is passive love: It’s not in a hurry. It suffers long, bears, believes, hopes and endures all things. The bible repeats 3 times in the book, Song of Solomon [3:5] “Daughters of Jerusalem, Promise me by the gazelles and by the does[deer] of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right”
Unmarried women [and men]: it is wise to refrain from love until the appropriate time. I know some of you won’t agree with that, but the Lord doesn’t want you to let impatience land you in relationships that only become detours to your destiny. I spent 2 ½ years single and focused on my Father’s business and it walked me right into the path of my husband. No, it wasn’t easy & yes there were times I had to fight my flesh but God’s keeping grace was sufficient, when I surrendered. Even if you have been waiting longer, please don’t get weary in well doing. God’s timing is perfect: he knows you better than you know yourself and let’s be real-sometimes God’s has to work out some flaws and insecurities within us. He has to renew our mindset in some areas so that we can appreciate & truly commit to that spouse when they come along. Trust that God will direct you in knowing who is best for you.
** Verse 4 goes on to say AGAPE love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, neither is it proud - This is love in action and it doesn’t act foolishly. It doesn’t put me in a competition with my family, friends, coworkers, or other Christians who may all be in relationships or getting married while you’re single. Agape love is not only by words, but shows I support them, even if they are advancing in areas of their lives before me (and I’m just using this as an example because it often happens). When it comes to boasting & pride, there’s a difference between bragging and encouraging. Have you ever had that friend that’s always bragging about their new mate & how “happy” they are? Always dating “the one” but they said that about the last 5 mates? I kept thinking to myself “who are they trying to convince-Me or them?” Within a few months they’re complaining, crying, and telling you horrible things that the person was doing to them all along. If this is you I’m not trying to make fun of your dilemma. Trust me: people will know authenticity when they see it so it’s best not to boast. Humility doesn’t parade. It doesn’t say “look at me-I’ve arrived”. Many Christian couples online, share their experiences, and we should not be bragging but encouraging others to pursue love by the biblical standard and displaying why God’s way works best.
** Verse 5 says AGAPE love is not rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered or provoked, keeps no record of wrongs – These are examples of love in society, love in character & love in spirit.
Married couples: Agape love is not quick-tempered and doesn’t snap back, but it is courteous even when your spouse makes a rude remark. AGAPE Love doesn’t keep a record of all the things they have done wrong to throw it back up in their face, because we remember that through the work of Christ on the cross, our sins & faults have also been scattered as far as the east is from the west. It’s never pushy & doesn’t blaze out in passionate anger. Do you know what brooding is? It means to sit upon, to dwell on a subject, or to meditate with an unhealthy persistence. Agape love doesn’t brood over wrongs and some of us can occupy unhealthy thoughts at times (myself included) but Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
** I’m just going to combine verses 6 & 7 together. AGAPE love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres– This is love in conduct and put to work. Agape love hates sin. It’s never glad when situation for others go wrong; it’s always motivated by goodness towards others. Agape love is always slow to expose; always eager to believe the best, it’s always hopeful and endures. Agape love is not hypocritical; it’s honest, and does not leave any other impression but what is strictly true.
Unmarried women [and men]: it is wise to refrain from love until the appropriate time. I know some of you won’t agree with that, but the Lord doesn’t want you to let impatience land you in relationships that only become detours to your destiny. I spent 2 ½ years single and focused on my Father’s business and it walked me right into the path of my husband. No, it wasn’t easy & yes there were times I had to fight my flesh but God’s keeping grace was sufficient, when I surrendered. Even if you have been waiting longer, please don’t get weary in well doing. God’s timing is perfect: he knows you better than you know yourself and let’s be real-sometimes God’s has to work out some flaws and insecurities within us. He has to renew our mindset in some areas so that we can appreciate & truly commit to that spouse when they come along. Trust that God will direct you in knowing who is best for you.
** Verse 4 goes on to say AGAPE love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, neither is it proud - This is love in action and it doesn’t act foolishly. It doesn’t put me in a competition with my family, friends, coworkers, or other Christians who may all be in relationships or getting married while you’re single. Agape love is not only by words, but shows I support them, even if they are advancing in areas of their lives before me (and I’m just using this as an example because it often happens). When it comes to boasting & pride, there’s a difference between bragging and encouraging. Have you ever had that friend that’s always bragging about their new mate & how “happy” they are? Always dating “the one” but they said that about the last 5 mates? I kept thinking to myself “who are they trying to convince-Me or them?” Within a few months they’re complaining, crying, and telling you horrible things that the person was doing to them all along. If this is you I’m not trying to make fun of your dilemma. Trust me: people will know authenticity when they see it so it’s best not to boast. Humility doesn’t parade. It doesn’t say “look at me-I’ve arrived”. Many Christian couples online, share their experiences, and we should not be bragging but encouraging others to pursue love by the biblical standard and displaying why God’s way works best.
** Verse 5 says AGAPE love is not rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered or provoked, keeps no record of wrongs – These are examples of love in society, love in character & love in spirit.
Married couples: Agape love is not quick-tempered and doesn’t snap back, but it is courteous even when your spouse makes a rude remark. AGAPE Love doesn’t keep a record of all the things they have done wrong to throw it back up in their face, because we remember that through the work of Christ on the cross, our sins & faults have also been scattered as far as the east is from the west. It’s never pushy & doesn’t blaze out in passionate anger. Do you know what brooding is? It means to sit upon, to dwell on a subject, or to meditate with an unhealthy persistence. Agape love doesn’t brood over wrongs and some of us can occupy unhealthy thoughts at times (myself included) but Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
** I’m just going to combine verses 6 & 7 together. AGAPE love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres– This is love in conduct and put to work. Agape love hates sin. It’s never glad when situation for others go wrong; it’s always motivated by goodness towards others. Agape love is always slow to expose; always eager to believe the best, it’s always hopeful and endures. Agape love is not hypocritical; it’s honest, and does not leave any other impression but what is strictly true.
These are some examples of how we love INTENTIONALLY VS EMOTIONALLY. It requires maturity in the faith because we need it in every area of our lives, including our relationships. It requires us to renew our minds. I used these examples because all of these things are foreign language in this day & age. If you go by the world’s pattern, what we see on TV and hear in the music, we think that it’s ok to casually date multiple people at one time, have sex outside of marriage, confuse lust with love [Keep an eye out for a study on this], sabotage relationships, manipulate our partners for selfish gain, go outside of our marriages for satisfaction or conduct ourselves as if we are not married at all, and many other things that ultimately end up with painful endings. These attributes do not represent the lifestyles of born-again Christians and should not be named among us. Romans 12:2 tells us “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” God’s will is that we be believers with the mind of Christ in ALL areas of our lives. Loving intentionally tells us to stop & think before we react and ask if our emotional responses will be helpful or harmful and it requires all of us to apply it. We always have to look at the bigger picture when our emotions want to take over and ask will this prepare me to be a husband or wife that is respected or one the spouse will despise.
Well I hope you enjoyed some of the material shared from that message. Did anything in particular speak to your heart? Let me know by chiming in below with any feedback. Blessings until next time! - Nikki
Well I hope you enjoyed some of the material shared from that message. Did anything in particular speak to your heart? Let me know by chiming in below with any feedback. Blessings until next time! - Nikki
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